Stupid Stuff
Disclaimer: Absolutely nothing on this page is serious.
If you don't have a sense of humor GO BACK NOW!



"World's Shortest Books by Drag Racers"
Sent in by WDIFL Visitors

Some of these are a little harsh - some are kind (you figure it out) and some may be too inside. Just keep in mind these are the SHORTEST books and this is for fun. These are NOT real books.

If you can add something to this list of literary masterpieces send them to: World's Shortest Books

"Selling Fine Jewelry" by Richard Tharp
"Ruling a Kingdom and Hair Care" by Jerry Ruth
"Races I Won" by Arly Langlo
"Drivers I Left On" by Tom McEwen - Preface by Gerry Steiner
"Basic Humility" by John Force
"Money I Turned Down" by Don Garlits
"Tuning Holly Carburetors" by Gene Adams
"Aging WIthout a Fight" by Linda Vaughan
"Racing Without a Sponsor" by Kenny Bernstein
"Selective Dating" by John Ewald
"Fooling The IRS" by Bill Turney
"Typing 101" by Walt Stevens
"Cars I Couldn't Drive" by Dale Pulde
"Women I Respect" by Connie Kalitta
"Running Nitro Conservatively" by Jim Brissette
"Beers I Don't Like" by Bill Alexander
"Women I Turned Down" by Gordie Bonin and Mike Kuhl
"Small Block Chevies On Fuel" by John Bradley
"If I Only Could Have Qualified" by Warren Johnson
"How To Retire at 55" by Chris Karamesines
"Stress Free Living" by Steve Gibbs
"Car's I Owned That Weren't Blue" by Gary Cochran
"Racing On a Limited Budget" by Don Schumacher
"Daddy Never Gave Me Nothin" by Tony Schumacher
"Writing For The Masses" by Cole Coonce
"Buying High Dollar Parts" by Dan Horan
"Pranks I Haven't Pulled" by Tom Ivo
"Proper Care Of Rental Cars" by Dave Settles
"What I Don't Know About Drag Racing" by CJ Hart
"How To Win Fans and Influence Sponsors" by Al Hofman
"The Years I Missed" by Juaquine Arnette
"Use Of By-Pass Jets" by Sid Waterman
"Winning Funny Car Championships" by Whit Bazemore
"Racers I Admire" by Don Prieto
"How I Beat John Force" by Jerry Toliver
"Hookers I Knew In Indy" by Keith Black
"Drag Racing For Fun And Profit" by George Steinbrenner
"What I Remember About My Racing Days" by Graham Light
"Cameras I Don't Own" by Jim Sorenson
"Fire Safety" by Bob Smith
"What I Learned In Charm School" by Shirley Muldowney
"All My Huge Holeshots" by Jim Yates
"Cars I Didn't Crash" by Davey Uyehara
"Political Correctness - 2002" by Norm Weekly
"Motel Rooms I Didn't Trash" - Jim Liberman
"Spreading The Wealth" by Bill Doner
"Racers I Gave Passes To" by Pat Green
"Accepting Your Ethnic Background" by Don Prudhomme
"Foolproof Business Ideas" by Don Ewald
"Tuning Tips" by Ron Johnson
"How To Photograph Race Cars" by Whit Bazemore
"Women I've Photographed Fully Clothed" by Tom West
"Building 40 Pounds of Boost" by Potvin Doug
"My Favorite Drivers" by Bones Carroll
"My Ugliest Funny Car" by Joe Pisano
"How To Run 50% Nitro" by Bob Skinner & Tom Jobe
"My Tribute to Big Daddy" by Wally Parks
"Guys That Haven't Driven For Me" by Roland Leong
"Tour Book of the Drag Racing & Hot Rodding Archives" by Jon Lundberg
"Proper Maintainance & Upkeep of Race Car Haulers" by 'Flyin Phil' Elliott
"Famous Nailhead Fuel Cars" by Lee Schelin
"Investing for the Future" by Jack Clark
"Ethics In Drag Racing" by Bill Chapman
"My Life As A Congressman" by Don Garlits
"Investing That Social Security Check" by Chris Karamesines
"How I Taught The Snake To Drive" by Kent Fuller
"Tall Tales" by Howard Haight
"How To Take Good Care of Your Crew" by Elana Bloomgren (Team Geronimo)
"Drivers I'd Hire Again" by Roland Leong
"Things I've Thrown Away" by Ed Iskenderian
"Ethical Business Practices" by Larry Huff & Don Johnson - Preface by Don Rackeman
"Opera Singing Made Easy" by Steve Plueger
"Coming to Grips With Your Identity" by Bob Muravez

"How to Retire Early and Stay Retired" by Don Garlits
"How to Care for Your Supercharger" by Paul Longenecker
"Dressing For Success" by "Broadway Bob" Metzler
"Ladder Safety" by Andrew Cowen
"Burnouts Without a Throttle Stop" by Shep Ginzberg
"Baseline Nitro Tuneups" by Arly Langlo
"How to Dress Like a Lady" by Jungle Pam
"Keeping A Steady Ride" by Al Hoffman
"Cars I Didn't Blow Up" by Jimbo Ermalovich
"Public Speaking Made Easy" by Chris Karamesines
"How To Manage a Small Pit Area" by Don Schumacher
"Winning Without Nitrous Oxide" by Darrel Alderman and Scott Geoffrion
"Scott Gefferion and Donnie Couch Hang Out Spots" by Donnie Couch
"I Do it for Love" by Kenny Bernstein
"Shaving Tips For Beginners" by Frank Bradley
"Blending Into The Crowd" by Scotty Cannon
"The Art of Parking a Winnebago" by Pat Dakin
"Cars That I Have Owned and Crashed" by Chip Woodall
"Memorable Finish Line Interviews" by Doug Kalitta
"Tuning Small Engines" by E.J. Potter,
"Front wheel tire wear" by Bill "Maverick" Golden,
"My Career in Drag Racing" by Richard Petty,
"Favorite Automatic Transmissions" by Herb McCandless,
"Times I Never Carried a Comb" by Butch Leal (forward by "Fast" Eddie Schartman),
"Budget Racing in the '80's" by Larry Minor,
"It Takes Two Hands", by Willie Borsch.



The Odd Quad
By: Bill Holland - go figure



You Think A Gallon Of Gas (or nitro) Is Expensive? This might make one think, and put things in perspective. (2002 prices)

Diet Snapple 16 oz $1.29 ........$10.32 per gallon
Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19 ......$ 9.52 per gallon
Gatorade 20 oz $1.59 .............$10.17 per gallon
Ocean Spray 16 oz $1.25 .......$10.00 per gallon
Brake Fluid 12 oz $3.15 ..........$33.60 per gallon
Vick's Nyquil 6 oz $8.35 .........$178.13 per gallon
Pepto Bismol 4 oz $3.85 ........$123.20 per gallon
Whiteout 7 oz $1.39 ...............$25.42 per gallon
Scope 1.5 oz $0.99 ................$84.48 per gallon

and this is the REAL KICKER......
Evian water 9 oz for $1.49 ......$21.19 per gallon.

$21.19 FOR WATER! ....and the buyers don't even know the source. So, the next time you're at the pump, be glad your car doesn't run on water, Scope, or Whiteout, or God forbid, PEPTO BISMOL or NYQUIL! Just a little humor to help ease the pain of your next trip to the pump.


Better you than us!



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