1. "After the third flip, I lost control............"
Don Roberts after crashing in the Jade Grenade at New England Dragway in 1975.

2. "Everything was fine until I left and then I ran out of talent!"
Don Garlits after a red light in the final

3. "Alcohol is for drinking, gas is for cleaning parts, and nitro is for racing!"
original author unknown, used by Gene Adams and Don Garlits among others

4. "We worked 80 hour weeks for 30 years to keep from having to get a real job." "T.C". Tom Lemon's comment on the rigors of being a drag racing touring professional in the 'Golden Years' of drag racing.

5. "Women in the truck is bad luck."
Ed Donavan used to tell John Wiebe because if John had a lady friend along, then there wasn't room for Ed in the pickup!

6. " Nope it wasn't helping me one bit and I didn't want to loose any teeth on it when it drove me into the wall, so I got rid of it."
From an old time northeast modified racer when asked after a crash if the steering wheel broke off on his ill handling race car after it comes flying out the window just before impact - courtesy of Jeff Howe

7. Q "Dad, why did you redlight?"  A "Because the light was too slow."
Mike Dunn question to his father, Big Jim Dunn in 'Funny Car Summer' movie

8. "Not bad for a coupe...."
Don Garlits after watching the first Funny Car in qualifying made a pass, slightly quicker and faster than he had just run. Courtesy Museum Dave Crain.

9. "You could unwrap a Fudgesicle at the first light and never touch the brake lever till you threw away the stick."
Tom Hannah

10. "See that helmet, It will fit your head too MOTHER ****ER!"
Connie Kalitta to a strip owner with no lights at night after the finish line and insisting that Connie make a full pass in a match race. Courtesy of Roy Steffey.

11. "Driver of genuine 'Kill yourself Kits' .... Seeks employment."
Olin Davis on looking for a ride in the late 50's.

12. "Rear Engine Dragsters are just a fad and front motor was the only way to go."
Floyd Head to Frank Huszar in 1971 when the old man tried to talk Floyd into building a RED instead of a FED. Courtesy of Gordon Leland.

13. "Never let the truth stand in the way of a good story."
Bones Carroll on the fine art of telling a story.

14. "Count to five and duck."
Said to Don Ewald by Fred Smith after they replaced a broken rod/piston with a counter weight on the crank to make a final round.

15.  'F--k the trophy, give me the check."
Jerry Ruth after winning the 1972 Winternationals.

16. "It doesn't matter what they say about you as long as they spell your name right."
Tom McEwen 1967

17.  "There's no such thing as bad ink."
Tom McEwen 1968

18. "I quit."
Don Prudhomme after the final round at the 1969 US Nationals when Nicoll's car was cut in half and passed in front of him.

19. (a visual)

"Clean up that ring land and put the bitch back in...<g>.

"Don't tell me...let me guess? It was a Kuhl cacklecar ... lol"

"Then there was seven...."

20. "We haven't given up on these yet - there's some hope for a rear engine car."
Warren Welsh (driver of the 1957 built rear-engined 92" w.b. Shoehorn)

21. "You never get out of the trottle unless you see the timing tower."
Doger Glenn to Dale Thierer during Dale's last qualifying run for his drivers license at Maple Grove Dragway in 1970.

22. "It needs to reach from the header flange to the end of the tube, or at least real close to it ."
David Pace to Tom Barnhill when asked " How long should the pipes on a set of zoomies be ?"

23. "It`s my car, I`ll pick it up by the front axle and use it as a wheel barrow to haul coal if I want to !"
A quote from Tommy Reese , owner and driver of the Brougher & Reese AA/FD, Pittsburgh Pa. 1964 to 1971. Everyone in the pits was always telling Tommy, " You ought to do this or you ought to do that---Tommy would look them in the eye and say...

23. "I know that son-of-a-bitch is cheatin! Cause, I'm cheatin and he beat me"!
Unknown from long ago.

24. "At Lions one night, I was on a strong pass and about half track I saw a blower belt go past me, then about 3/4 down track, I saw another blower belt go by. Then as I pulled off the track I noticed I didn't have any front tires either".
Retired Top Fuel driver Walt Stevens.

24. "Hell, If it was easy anybody could do it and it wouldn't be called Racing!"
This is what I tell most of the drivers who have had a bad run of luck or are paying their dues to become true racers. Bruce Pedretti/TopWop Chowchilla Chicken Chokers

25. "When building engines I have found the piston to ground clearence to be ever so critical."

Geri Tarvin

26. "I didn't want my Mom to know I was drag racing for 20 years so I told her I was in prison."
T.C. Lemmons

27. Discussing current racers T.C. said, "(you fill in the name) is a “sand wedge”. Steve Davis asked why and Tommy replied, “In a golf bag, the sand wedge is the farthest thing from a driver!”
T.C. Lemmons

28. "I'm on a good one an' first thing I see is ol' belt came off. It kept pullin' so I stayed with it an' ol' belt came off again! When I got out, both front tires were gone."
The late great John "The Zookeper" Mulligan

29. "Racing top fuel is for people who love work and hate money."
Brendan Murry

30. "Don’t lift unless you smell shit or hear glass break."
Sean Bellemeur

31. "Gentlemen….light your drivers.”
unknown (sounds like Doner)

32. ”A saint I ain’t….A star I are".
Richard Tharp

33. "The bigger the splash....the shorter the stay".
Jim Annin....talking about most high rollers who get into (and out of) drag racing.

34. "How much does it cost? How fast do you want to go!"
Mike Kuhl:

35: “They can be a handful to drive…it's like driving a piece of chain down a race track.”
James Day, talking about driving a nostalgia top fuel car:

36: “Don't lift until the fear of death over comes the fear of speed.”
Sent via Email

37: “NO Tits in the PIts".
Mike Kuhl

38: “Don't lift until the fear of death over comes the fear of speed.”
Sent via Email

39: "Kill my ass you nodrivin motherfucker."
car owner Bob Richardson

40: "Chick Reporter: So, are you the driver?
     Tim: "Sometimes . . . . , sometimes I'm just along for the ride."
the late Tim Hay

40:“You can’t go in soft…”
Ed ‘the Ace’ McCulloch to Steve Evans, prior to final round 1980 US Nationals. Yes, they won

41:“Fuel engines only have two throttle positions... wide open and wide shut”
Don Garlits.

42. "There's two types of drivers...reactors and thinkers...and there's no place on the track for thinkers"
Chris Karamesines

43. "There's old racers and there's bold racers....but there's no old AND bold racers".
Sourse Unknown

44. "We're not jumping our Schwinn bikes over garbage cans anymore.. this is getting really serious".
"AA" Doug Becker, crew chief for "Nitro Neil" Bisciglia

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